
What to Do When You're Not Sure Your Work Mattered
Imagine this: You’re preparing for your annual performance review. The calendar says it’s time to gather your accomplishments, so you do. You write them down — the client you retained, the project you stabilized, the intern you mentored. You even feel a flicker of pride. But something’s missing.
You reread the list and feel a creeping doubt: Am I exaggerating?Did anyone even notice this? You close the document and sigh. You don’t want to overclaim, but you don’t want to underrepresent either.That’s when you realize — you’ve written your story in solitude, but maybe it’s not a story meant to be told alone.
Why This Moment Happens Across Our Lives
This isn’t just about performance reviews. It shows up when you’re applying for a new role, when you’re reflecting after a tough year, or when you’re trying to articulate your value in a room that doesn’t seem to see you.
It’s a moment that lives between self-awareness and shared recognition. And it’s not limited to your job. If you’ve ever led a volunteer effort, raised a child, coached a peer, or supported a struggling team — you’ve likely felt the ache of wondering if your contribution mattered beyond your own knowing.
The Emotional Landscape: Humility, Doubt, and the Need to Be Seen
This moment tugs at the tension between humility and validation. Many of us are raised to believe that good work speaks for itself — that asking for recognition is self-serving, even arrogant.
But performance — especially in a relational world — is never just about execution. It’s about resonance. Did the thing you built help someone? Did the energy you brought shift the tone? Did your calm hold the room together when things could have fallen apart?
These aren’t just ego questions. They’re leadership questions. They’re legacy questions.
Strategic Possibilities: How You Might Respond
So what do you do when you find yourself in this reflective void?
One option is to say nothing — to submit the reflection as it stands and hope it lands. That’s safe, but it keeps your story one-sided.
Another is to ask for formal feedback — a meeting with your supervisor, perhaps. That can work, but it often limits the range of perspectives to one role or relationship.
A third, more nuanced option is to activate your “quiet allies” — the people who experienced your impact in real time, but may not have had a chance to say it.
The Tool: Echoes of Impact – The Feedback Activation Strategy
Here’s a five-step way to gather and integrate feedback without making it feel performative or needy:
1. Revisit and Prioritize Your List
Choose three to five contributions where others were involved. Pick what feels emotionally meaningful — not just measurable.
2. Draft Micro-Outreach Messages
Send short, appreciative messages to colleagues or collaborators:
“Hey [Name], I’m reflecting on the year and thought of the work we did on [Project]. If you have any feedback or reflections on how I showed up or contributed, even just a sentence or two would mean a lot.”
3. Collect and Cluster Feedback
Look for themes in the responses — calm under pressure, clarity in chaos, ability to motivate, etc. These are often the invisible traits that get missed in formal reviews.
4. Upgrade Your Reflection Document
Add quotes, keywords, and insights directly into your notes. You’re not just citing others — you’re refining the truth of your story.
5. Write an Advocacy Statement
Distill the themes into a confident, clear self-description:
“Several colleagues mentioned how I brought structure and steadiness during high-stress moments — especially during [X]. That affirmed for me that strategic calm is one of my strengths.”
This isn’t about fishing for compliments. It’s about harmonizing your internal narrative with the external experience of others. That’s not just smart — it’s strategic.
Final Reflection: Who Holds a Piece of Your Story?
Sometimes the most meaningful evidence of our impact lives in someone else’s memory. A moment you forgot — but they didn’t. A phrase you said — that stayed with them. A tension you eased — that they never thanked you for.
So ask yourself: Who holds a piece of your story that you haven’t heard yet? And what might change if you invited them to share it?
You don’t need a spotlight to know your work mattered. Sometimes, all you need is an echo.
Want more moments of clarity?
You can find additional articles in the What To Do When series on Substack, Alonford’s Studio — a space for thoughtful reflection and practical wisdom.
👉 Visit Alonford’s Studio
And if this article resonated, you can explore the full Echoes of Impact strategy — along with other Strategy Bites designed to help you lead with purpose — on our website.
👉 Explore this Strategy Bite
About the author: Dr. A.J. Robinson is the founder and CEO of Symphonic Strategies, a firm that specializes in collective action, leadership development, and systems change. Symphonic Strategies align teams, measure impact, and equip employees to overcome challenges—so organizations thrive and deliver results.
Post by: Symphonic Strategies
Not everyone knows Dr. June Jackson Christmas’s name, but fellow leaders in her field are fully aware of how her contributions made other peoples’ lives better. Dr. Christmas, who passed away on New Year’s Eve at age 99, was a pioneering Black woman psychiatrist and one of the first scholars and practitioners to address the impact of social and economic factors on mental health
She made history early in life as one of the first three students who identified as Black to graduate from Vassar College, where she was in the class of 1945-4. (The few Black students who attended Vassar years earlier had kept their racial identities hidden and “passed” as white while on campus.) After college, like her fellow trailblazing Black classmate Beatrix McCleary Hamburg, Dr. Christmas chose to go to medical school to study psychiatry. Dr. Hamburg became the first Black woman graduate of the Yale School of Medicine and an expert in child psychiatry. Dr. Christmas, who was one of just seven women in her class at Boston University’s School of Medicine, said she originally hoped studying psychiatry might help her teach people not to be racist. It did help her address race and class as she fought to make sure vulnerable populations had better access to care.
Dr. Christmas was a clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, a professor of behavioral science at the City University of New York School of Medicine, a resident professor of mental health policy at the Heller Graduate School of Social Welfare of Brandeis University, the first Black woman president of the American Public Health Association, and an appointed leader who shaped New York City’s mental health care policy. As the New York Times said, Dr. Christmas “broke barriers as a Black woman by heading New York City’s Department of Mental Health and Retardation Services under three mayors . . . As a city commissioner, as chief of rehabilitation services at Harlem Hospital Center, and in her role overseeing the transition of the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare to a Democratic administration for President-elect Jimmy Carter, Dr. Christmas ardently advanced her professional agenda.”
The Times continued: “Her priorities included improving mental health services for older people, helping people cope with alcoholism, and assisting children ensnared in the bureaucracies of foster care and the legal system. She also sought to ease the transition of patients from being warehoused in state mental hospitals to living independently . . . In 1964 she founded Harlem Rehabilitation Center, a Harlem Hospital program, which gained a national reputation for providing vocational training and psychiatric help to psychiatric hospital patients who had returned to their communities after being discharged.” This became a model for patient care.
All of this gives a sense of not just what made Dr. Christmas a trailblazing leader, but how she displayed the characteristics of a symphonic leader. Throughout her life she was used to seeing the impossible: possessing a mindset that is free from the constraints imposed by the current reality, even a 13-year-old growing up in Boston who organized a spontaneous sit-in to try to integrate a roller-skating rink in neighboring Cambridge. She brought that mindset to each new role where she seized the opportunity to make advances in patient care. When asked in an interview how she motivated people, Dr. Christmas answered: “Let people know that you are on their side. That you are behind them and you are supportive. I do care that a patient or staff person is able to stand up for himself or herself. When we motivate others we just don’t look at a person. We look at a person and at their environment.” This perspective shows several of the principles of symphonic leadership, and is an example of playing from the soul: the ability to shape situations in ways that align collective action with the protection and advancement of self-interest.
Eric Wilson, the co-chair of Vassar’s African American Alumnae/i organization, gave one more clue about Dr. Christmas’s leadership style with this description: “Dr. Christmas was as regular as they came. Humble, personable, so totally lacking in pretension as to be considered old-school cool, and beyond brilliant.” This hints at a third characteristic of symphonic leaders, moving the crowd: a depth of social grace where social interactions leave people wanting more.
At Symphonic Strategies, we’re always on the lookout for new examples of symphonic leaders to study and share with others. Women’s History Month is a wonderful opportunity to highlight and celebrate great women leaders, but be sure you’re aware of the great leaders around you every day.
What to Do When You're Not Sure Your Work Mattered
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